Making the decision to get married abroad requires a lot of careful thought and consideration.
Although everyone’s reasons for getting married abroad may vary, the decision to actually do so is one that is never taken lightly.
Following is the real life story of how Sharon and her partner Simon made the decision to have a destination wedding. After feeling they were loosing sight of what getting married was all about, deciding to have a destination wedding put everything back into perspective.
Sharon’s Story
My partner Simon and I decided that we would like to get married this year. We did the easy thing and settled on a date. As both of us dislike being the centre of attention we wanted a simple, small wedding with the ceremony performed by a celebrant.
Our ideal wedding would be to have our parents, and a few close friends in attendance, and keep the traditional formalities to a minimum. However, we realised that having a wedding in our hometown would mean that there are certain niceties that have to be respected, and we would have to compromise to keep everyone happy.
We made a rough guest list of family and close family friends and comprehended that we would be looking at close to eighty guests. We concluded that a reception venue with a chapel would be the best format, and traditional enough to meet our parents expectations. Things followed on rather smoothly (for a while), we booked the venue, and the celebrant, and prepared to announce our plans to our parents.
Our parents were very happy to hear our news, and when we informed them that we had decided to follow a traditional wedding format they were ecstatic. Our families announced that it was our day, and we should do what makes us both happy, however this comment was immediately ensued by, “where is the venue and have you invited?”, etc., etc. Simon and I gathered we had made the right choice as far as our parents were concerned.
Simon and I agreed that as we were borrowing the money to hold our wedding, we would try and minimise the extras. We wanted to keep all the formalities of the evening to an absolute minimum, ensuring the most amount of time for us to dance and enjoy our wedding.
Therefore, no table decorations, cars, videographers, bows and tulle, and definitely no long and numerous speeches!
Our mothers were informed of our plans and we agreed as a concession that if they wanted chair covers and candles, and a bridal bouquet, we would gratefully accept their help to finance these niceties. I guess weddings are as much for the Mothers as they are for the bride and groom, so needless to say, after numerous phone calls between the Mums, they had decided that our plans would alter. We had prepared ourselves for some changes, but we had no idea what was in store for us.
We were now looking at all the whistles and lights. Cars, photographers, flowers for all the tables, candelabras, extra guests, etc, etc. And the cost kept escalating. Eventually, to my Mothers credit, she noticed that I didn’t seem overjoyed about the upcoming event. I told her that Simon and I really didn’t want this.
Simon mentioned that he would love to get married at one of the tropical rainforest accommodation places featured on various travel shows and immediately we knew this was how we wanted to celebrate our wedding day. However after many long discussions, Simon and I made the decision to cancel the big affair in our hometown although we were very apprehensive about informing our family and friends of our change in plans.
We had needlessly put ourselves through a lot of anguish, pondering whether cancelling was the right decision, and about the reactions we would receive. Everyone has said it is a fantastic idea, and given us there full support, so we worried needlessly about pleasing everyone all along.
Initially I was quite overwhelmed at the thought of trying to organise a wedding that was being held a million miles from home. Not being able to actually see venues, and having picked a non-traditional location, I was worried that services and commodities would be very hard to source.
I don’t know how people would have managed to plan a wedding away from home before the Internet. What an amazing tool. The information is all there at your fingertips. The trick is finding a website that has great links, and has already done all the hard work for you.
Simon and I will be getting married in June, in a magical location, with a lovely celebrant. We have invited our parents, and just a couple of friends to be witnesses. Even with us budgeting to pay for their flights and accommodation, we will be able to easily afford it. And the plus side is we get to have an amazing, memorable wedding, and holiday all rolled into one.
If the idea of breaking with conformity, and disappointing family and friends is hindering your decision to have a wedding abroad, my advice is go for it. I guarantee you will be pleasantly surprised at the reaction you receive from those you inform. Once you take the plunge, your wedding takes on a whole new magical feel and then your choices are limitless.
Happy planning.
Sharon.
